I just got done watching Jason Williams announce the Northeastern-Michigan game and let me tell you, it was an experience. Jason Williams is to hyperbole what Da Vinci is to inventing, A-Rod is to choking in the clutch and Barack Obama is to being overhyped. Just for your reading pleasure, I'll go over some of the "highlights" of his call of the game.

 I'll give you some context for most of these quotes, so they make a little more sense. For instance, J-Will said the term "it's scary to think" over and over again. While it certainly is "scary to think" if your Jason Williams, one thing he said rings true, "it's scary to think that if Northeastern made some more shots, they could be winning." Yes, that is a direct quote from Mr. Williams himself. So with gems like that in mind, let's continue our journey on the Jason Williams Hyperbole Experience!

 Some of the top quotes: "I never used to get any calls when I was in college, these guys are getting some calls out here!" - Yes, Jason, we all have sympathy for a Duke PG who never got any calls in college. I think it's been pretty clear for quite some time the refs have something against Duke and are always out to cheat them.

 "I remember watching Reggie Smith, Northeastern's all-time leading scorer light it up back in the day" - Reggie Smith or Reggie Lewis, your pick Jason.

 Let's crank up the old hyperbole machine again shall we? Actual quote from Jason Williams: "These kids play in front of millions of people every single day and its great to see that they care." Hmm, so playing at 8 pm on ESPNU and in front of a half-full Michigan arena qualifies as millions of people every single day. Got it.

 A running word count - Jason Williams said the world "flush" 12 times. He said the word unbelievable "26 times". Not to mention the fact that he said "that's what makes (insert name here) so special" about 10 times. Pretty much everyone on the court was unbelievable or special, which, in reality, would make none of them special or unbelievable since they are all so incredible. Stay with me here.

 Another great Jason Williams quote "Tiger Woods taught me a great lesson, No Mercy, so when I got that chance to play basketball with Barack Obama recently, that's what I did". Lovely, I'm sure he appreciated that.

 Back to the hyperbole, after a Manny Harris dunk, we get this gem: "Are his arms supposed to be that long?!? Is he supposed to FLUSH it like Lebron James on the fast break?" Seems like an astute comparison no? When I saw that dunk (it wasn't even the best dunk of the game, it wouldn't even get anywhere close to the Top 10 plays of the night on sportscenter) the first thing I thought was, he reminds me of Lebron James.

 Another J-Will Gem: "I think his eyes were a little wide open on that one". Well, as long as they were only a LITTLE wide open.

 Some more knowledge for ya: "UCLA can be very dangerous if they get together and start to win at the end of the season". I agree. If they get together, they will be dangerous, but if they get together and start to win, they will be VERY dangerous, but even more so, if they do it at the end of the season, they will be LETHAL.

"Well, if the spotlight wasn't on (Manny Harris) last year, you can bet EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD that the spotlight will be on from now on." I'll see your "everything in the world" and raise you everything in the Universe.

 Love this one from Jay Will, after a scoreboard update shows that Southern Illinois has come back to tie UMass - "Would you expect anything else from Mike Lowery?" I sure wouldn't Jay, I sure wouldn't.

 

 Another great quote that I have no idea what he was trying to say: "They've done an UNBELIEVABLE job boxing out, they've scored 19 points off boards and 17 points off rebounds." Umm ok.

 Talking about John Beilein "I really admire his courage, he is a truly unbelievable coach and has done a great job here at Michigan." Well other than going 11-22 in his first year, yeah, I agree Jason, he has been unbelievable.

Another fantastic exchange with his broadcast partner - "Well ya know, I was talking with Coach Beilein before the game and he told me there was one word floating around the Michigan team last year, well, 2 words, patience and time. He said "you have to have patience to let these young guys develop....etc." He never did mention "time" the rest of the soliloquy, but it's good to know that it was one of the two words floating around the Michigan team last year.

I loved the story about his first game playing for Duke: "My first game for Duke was playing at Madison Square Garden in front of over 100 people and I was so nervous I never came out of the locker room". Umm, what? 100 people at Madison Sq. Garden and you never came out of the locker room? How exactly did you play then? My head hurts.

 Finally, Jay Will breaks it down and gives Northeastern some excellent coaching advice: "Northeastern shouldn't be playing fast, they should play the game that got them to this point, slow it down and get the ball inside." Well, ignoring the fact that there was only 6 minutes left in the game, why would you "continue to play the game that got you here" when your down by 16 points? Isn't it time to try something different at that point? Let's just move on.

I hope you enjoy this hot bukkake of hyperbole from the master himself: "I kind of feel like it's John Stockton and Karl Malone out there, Manny Harris and Deshawn Sims have combined on 11 field goals for Michigan tonight." That's exactly the comparison I was thinking of Jay! Only about 10,000 more assists/baskets to go before Manny Harris and Sims are the new Stockton and Malone!

Let's emphasize how important this game was tonight shall we? Jason Williams tell us how important this game for Manny Harris was. "Everybody in the world, everybody in the country, now knows Manny Harris is the go to guy for Michigan". Don't sell him short Jason, there are quite a few astronauts who aren't techincally on this world who now know Harris is the go to guy for Michigan.

 And that, ladies and gentleman, is just a taste of why Jason Williams is my new favorite announcer. I think they should team him with Jim Nantz to call the Final 4 on the off-chance that Nantz's head might explode and we would be rid of Billy Packer AND Jim Nantz in the same year. There is always hope.