The NCAA Tournament is everywhere.  It’s on television, online, on phones, the radio, everything.  Even women around the office are talking about it.  It’s almost impossible to escape its reach – but I am going to try.

Since my team was unfairly left out of competing in the NCAA Tournament (a longer explanation here, but let’s just say its been a very long past four seasons), I have decided that I’m going to sit this one out.  Completely.  Not one glance at my phone to check a score, not one second of game action, and not one afternoon of drinking eight tall beers at Buffalo Wild Wings (damnit). 

In the face of being wronged by the sports gods, instead of March Madness, I am choosing March Sanity.

Before we begin, let me acknowledge that this exercise is a complete rip-off of Kyle Whelliston’s “Last Man” game, where he attempts to not find out who won the Super Bowl for as long as possible (he usually makes it a couple days).  The difference is that I actually would like to hear the scores.  The Game ends once I see, hear or read an NCAA Tournament score or see who won a game.  Any game.  Even the ridiculous First Four money-grab farces that will take place tonight. 

This isn’t going to be easy.  CBS’s college basketball music draws me towards a TV like Pavlov’s dogs to the dinner bell.  I’m a college basketball addict.  I like going to sports bars with my wife and friends.  I also like to cheer for the underdog.  Unfortunately, that is exactly what the NCAA Tournament is all about. 

Its also the time of the year where my friends will text me questions like “How did Belmont do in the non-conference?” (A couple close losses to Tennessee) and “Can Kenny Faried put up more than 11.5 rebounds for my Sportsbook.com bet?” (No comment).  I can tell my friends and family what I’m trying to do, but that doesn’t mean that the news will reach everyone. 

Tonight, the game begins.  Danger will be everywhere.  I can’t risk even momentarily flipping through ESPN in fear that I will see the happy press conference of a triumphant 15-seed.  I know I could miss the greatest moment in NCAA Tournament history, but I can accept that.